The One with the Swine Flu

July 4,1:25A.M.

Lost in the thoughts of someone,going through the last chapter of 'anything for you, ma'am' and at the same time relieved from the thought of suffering from the swine flue (after comparing my blood reports with the older ones and intensively going through the functionality and effects of each and every component of blood),annoyed with the barking of the dogs just beneath my flat, I lie here half awake and reciting some of the incidences.

It happens to be a birthday of a close friend who is in middle of nowhere on the very auspicious occasion. Having trouble reaching him,his phone being switched off, i receive a call from other friend asking if his number has changed.Assuring him that everything is fine and he will give you a missed call(kanjoos saala) the next day, we began to talk.Talk about the gas connection which he finally got.That reminded me of an unbelievable cylinder I have in my possession. I have been staying in Bangalore for about 11 months now and happened to posses this cylinder for 10 months par kya karein 'khatam hi nahi hota yaar'.What the hell man!! Kitni gas hai ismain[:P].

July 3, 9:50 A.M.

Me combing my hair [:P].I receive a call
'Rishi, office mat aao. Aaj chutti hai. Swine flue office main aa gaya hai.Pura office band ho gaya hai'.
'Kya?kaise?'
'Pata nahi.'
'Mazaak mat karo. Hum late ho rahe hai.'
'Abe chal movie chalte hai.Hum tumhare yaha aa rahe hai.'
While locking the door 'Nahi hum ghar se nikal chuke hai. Aadhe raste par hai. Tum office ke paas wait karo .5 min main pahunch jayenge.'

Same day,10:30 A.M.

Doing breakfast with some of the friends in escape mall.
'Abe pata chala kisko hua hai'.
'Haan 5th floor par Manish Das naam ke bande ko. Cubicle L5204.'
Shocked. The person being referred to was none other than one of the member of my team who had just returned to office from Korea a day before. Even more shocking, the cubicle being referred to belonged to none other than my manager who sits next to me.At that very instant I call up my manager and it was confirmed that Manish Das was suffering.' I reveal the facts to the friends sitting next to me.
Here goes the reaction.The guys moved themselves in direction away from me as if I was the one infected.Just kidding.Not me,they were.Then as if in a chorus,they asked me to get the tests done.The disease being of international origin and having heard of it so much in recent past, I panicked and decided 'better safe then late'.So, I and a friend started off to the hospital.Thanks to the very matured nature of the lady doctor, all our fear vanished.But still, we proceeded with the routine blood test.

2:30 P.M.

Done with the tests, done with the lunch and done with wasting the first half of the granted holiday, finally two of us reach Forum to try our luck at any of the hindi movies - New York and Kambakht Ishq being the two options.Hum do, movies bhi do, par ticket baki ek, bahut nainsaafi hai. Considering that we both had come to watch a movie after around three months it was really hard luck. Never mind everything happens for good. We spent our next three hours roaming, window shopping and covering the premises of Forum,each floor, atleast 6 times before getting tired enough to repeat any further.

6:00 P.M.

Finally we moved out of Forum, realizing that we were too late to go to LalBagh, we walked our way back to Sony Circle, taking arbitrary routes, making our way through a lover's park followed by a children's park. Finally, we took the bus back to hospital, collected the reports and then another bus to room.

Today,2:50 AM

Done with the novel, it was a happies ending. Okayish.So so. I have had better.But, usually on a sad note.So,5.5/10. Feeling drowsy and thinking what i started with and what am i ending with.

PS1->congratulations Manish sir for single-handedly giving everyone in Samsung a day off.
PS2->Jokes apart, get well soon.

Mixed Emotions!!

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Sunday

It all started on friday night. I came to know that my brother's plan to come to Bangalore has changed. His ticket didn't get confirm, so he will come on Saturday or Sunday by flight. Late in the night I got the confirmation that he will come on Sunday evening.Soon, I realized that our meet is going to be small. But never realized it was going to be too small.


Sunday morning, the rush began. A lot many things to do- get the fan repaired, give clothes for press, visit a friend as planned a night before,get some movies and stuff from a friend for my bro, clean the house,go to coaching and of course visit him. Luckily, I woke up early and the day started off well. I woke up at 8:30, got ready by 9,went to temple,had my breakfast,gave my clothes for press and gave a call to my landlord. By the time it was around 10.I went to SISO hostel to get the things, rang the bell. To my dismay,no one was awake. They were too tired to answer the bell and open the door. By the time I got the confirmation call from my landlord that the fan will be repaired by afternoon. Cool..One thing left. Visit the friend.I went there and had to rush out of the place by 12:30 to catch the bus.

As expected, I was late and had missed the Volvo.But, luck again was on my side. I got another bus and was offered a seat as soon as I entered.Through out my journey from LRDE to Kormangala Signal, I managed not to pay a single penny.Yup, I don't buy a ticket until conductor asks me. This was not the first time and I was successful.But, what goes around comes around.

As soon as I finished of my coaching I received the call from my brother 'Rishi, I've reached airport.'
'Bhaia, aap R.T.Nagar pahuncho, main bas yahan se nikal raha hoon.'He had planned to sign in in the hotel,roam around in near-by area and then accompany me to my place. Sounded great.
'Rishi, how much do they charge for R.T.Nagar.'
'Bhaia, main bhi pehli baar ja raha hoon.'

So, we both started for R.T.Nagar.I took an auto. He agreed to go for meter+10 .Okie dokie.I just hate these autowalas.He started from front of the coaching,took a right turn, then another, one more. After about ten minutes with my meter already ticking 15 bucks, I find myself around 100 meters away from my coaching center.
Me:'Bhaia, aap kahan le ja rahe ho'
Autowala:''Bhaia, oneway tha wapas aana pada. Bahut traffic tha'.
Me:'Bhaia!aap fixed rate bata do kitna loge R.T.Nagar ka'.
Autowala:'15-16 km hoga, 180 de dena'.

I went down from that auto and threw 15 rupees at his face, asked how to reach by bus from some other guy and finally started off. My watch showed 6:15. I reached majestic and took another bus. By 7:30, I was still in the bus when I received another call from my brother.
'Rishi, main pahunch gaya. Tu kahan hai.'
'Bhaia, main bhi bas pahunchne wala hoon. May be another 15 minutes.' I had no clue where I was, but my guess was accurate.By quarter to 8, I had finally reached his place.
'Bhaia, it took one and half hour from my coaching center. I don't know how much longer will it take from my place.I will rather stay here with you and go back in the morning.' Nopes, fate had something else for me.It seemed that the guest-house was totally booked. That meant I have to rush back to my place or else I won't get a bus.
Hurriedly, he overloaded my bag with things from home and without wasting time we started off for dinner. 'Pathetic' is the least offensive word I can use for the food we ate. But, atleast one thing was great. I was with my brother after a long time.But, again the rush.

I reached majestic in just 30 minutes, thanks to the already empty roads. I managed to catch the last bus, Bus no 335E, (luckily volvo) unluckily overloaded.Conductor asked for ticket, I asked if it would go to HAL. He said yes. I knew it wouldn't go to BEML but still I asked 'Bhaia, BEML jayegi'. Conductor 'haan jayegi' and charged 45 bucks for the same.

I was surprised(both because of BEML and very high charges) but happily gave 45 bucks because I wanted to end the journey.Standing in the crowd, with battery turning low only favourable thing was the soft music being played in the bus.Soon, HAL passed. I thought the bus would take a left, but it didn't. I went to conductor 'Bhaia, BEML, C.V.Raman Nagar jayegi right?'
Conductor:'Haan jayegi'.'Okies'. Bus reached Marathalli. Now quite sure, that something is wrong, I went to conductor again and asked 'Bhaia, kya route follow karegi bus'.Conductor 'BEML aayega to bata doonga'.By the time I got the seat but could not relax. Internally, I was excited, 'a new route to be explored'.

After around 10 mins.Bus takes a left turn and stops.'Ye aa gaya BEML. Utar jao yaha par.''Shocked', I went down from the bus.I had no clue where I was. All the shops were closed. Not even a single person around.I went near a shop. It read 'BEML Layout'.I thought 'Ok, I am at right place. I just need to find my way from here.' Then a thelewala showed up. I asked how do I go to G.M.Palya. He said, all the buses have left, so you will have to take an auto. I knew it was going to be a long night.
After walking around half a kilometer alone in a deserted road, I heard a sound of auto. I called for it. He asked me to pay double. I had no option but to agree. Finally, I ended up paying close to 200 bucks to autowala but was home safe. I called my brother and told I have reached.

Climbing the stairs, I tried to recollect what I have been through today and thats how my sunday ends.

My first !!
Below are a few of the posts which inspired me to try my 'hand on blogs'. Courtesy to all those who have contributed to it and to those who have not, if you write and you think your blog deserves a post here do send me a link. Thanks in advance to all those vella enough to go through the blog.
Well, talking about vellapanti, I can assure you I can give you a stiff competition.So, what do i do? Just another software engineer.Got the picture. No...Here goes a brief summary..

1. Hired along with a bunch of other engineers.
2. Given a project.
3. Launching date fixed.
4. Met some new engineers in the group.
5. whipped our asses until either dead or product is launched. or both.
6. Attend a cheap-ass pathetic party,maybe. Depends on manager.
7. Start over.

[:(]
This brings me to one important observation- why people gain weight after joining the office.In other words, why haven't I? Its not that I don't eat. Truly speaking I am addicted to food. I think it has always been there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the time to jump out and make its inevitable debut. Like any addiction, it is there, relentless, begging, pleading, to satisfy its urge. Isn't it enough. Suggestions most welcome.
Huh, already feeling hungry.

This reminds me of a not so normal incidence that happened day before at lunch. I was in cafetarea having my meal with three other friends one of which recently got married. She was in my team a few months ago. And it was the first time since her marriage we talked. In the middle of the meal, I saw her and don't know why smiled at her. Observe the reaction of all four of us:

The girl caught me and asked "why are you smiling. You always smile when you look at me. Or is it because of my marriage you are smiling". All 3 of us laughed and the lunch went on pretty well.

Later in the evening, one of the two left told me that one should never be caught while 'seeing' a girl. He added she was feeling embarassed. Some girls don't say but she said on your face. Thats not good.

My reaction 'Stunned.Wo!!What are you talking about. First thing, I am aware she is married. Second I wasn't 'seeing' her. As a matter of fact, I always watch a person in eyes when I talk to him/her. Fourth, this is not the first time I smiled at her. She has given me that complement/comment,not sure, when we both were in same team.So buddy, just remove all the dirty thoughts from your mind.Okies.'

Now,this leaves just one person, the one who knows the girl more than both of us.What was he thinking.At that time he was just smiling but what was he feeling. Will let you know,when I next come across him.

PS1->Keep visiting for regular updates from now on.
PS2-> Do leave you valuable comments.
PS3->Good night,sleep tight.

A [dash] of Hot Chics

Thank you for calling Indigo. We will DEAL with you shortly. -Indigo Call center

I am sure some of you have very wild imaginations. Some of you may even have weird-bordering-on-disgusting imaginations. So, before you make any perverse assumptions based on the title of this post let’s get one thing perfectly clear. This is not an erotic post. Neither does it contain lewd descriptions of Hot Chics, myself or any one else for that matter. It has NOTHING to do with chickens or any animal species either.

**********DISCLAIMER*************

No hot chics were harmed in the writing of this post. If you are a hot chic reading this post [yaay - hot chics reading this post] please send me an email telling me what you think as well as your phone number (for technical reasons). [it doesn't hurt to try]. In general, this post was not meant to hurt any one’s sensibilities, feelings or the other such stuff. My apologies in advance if it does.

****************************************

This post is actually about English – collective nouns for that matter …

What would the collective noun for a of hot chics be? (In brackets – the actual usage of the collective noun).

A ton of hot chics: A ton – that sounds like a measure of weight. (Ex: A ton of crap)

A bunch of hot chics: Chics aren’t like apples (is it a bunch of apples?). (Ex: A bunch of crap)

A gaggle of hot chics: Chics aren’t geese (it IS a gaggle of geese).

A set of hot chics: Chics are not a mathematical (container??). (Ex: A set of numbers)

An array of hot chics: Chics are not a programatical construct either. (Ex: An array of char*)

An earful of hot chics: I guess a lot of hot chics would be an earful – but doesn’t quite fit does it … There is an earful of IpoD users.

A team of hot chics: If hot chics are teaming up against you then you my friend are screwed. (Ex: A team of cattle)

A swarm of hot chics: If on the other hand hot chics are swarming up to you, better yet, swarming up against you then you my friend are screwed (in the better sense of the word). (Ex: A swarm of ants)

A colony of hot chics: It is rumoured that this exists. [See seinfeld for the source of this rumour]. Possible locations of this colony do NOT include: IIIT Hyderabad, Microsoft India. (Ex: A colony of beavers)

A flock of hot chics: The only thing I can imagine hot chics flocking to are concerts given by pop stars or football players like David Beckham or the (c)hunky actors like [Yeah, if you're straight you won't know the names of many hunky actors either]. (Ex: A flock of birds)

A nuisance of hot chics: It is rumoured that guys who have a lot of hot chics following them find the hot chics a nuisance. [The author sadly has no experience so cannot comment on this personally]. (Ex: A nuisance of cats)

A cartload of hot chics: I can just about imagine this. A hawker in the street. 10 ke saath ek free … 10 ke saath ek free. (Ex: A cartload of chimpanzees)

A mob of hot chis: One mob I’d like to be a part of. No matter what the cause of protest. (Ex: A mob of emus)

A school of hot chics: Darn It. If only I knew this existed. I’d have studied here … (Ex: A school of fish)

A parcel of hot chics: The ideal birthday present? (Ex: A parcel of hogs). Yeah, I’m not making any comparisons

A parliament of hot chics: This can actually happen. If all the women do not vote. And in all elections there are two candidates. One is a lookalike of Aish, the other of Laloo. What self-respecting straight guy would vote for laloo? (Ex: A parliament of owls)

I’m getting tired of CTRL+TAB right now (I’ve got a page that lists collective nouns in the other tab). Anyway, the reason for this post is that I’m home and well, there are a of hot chics over here. Not here as in my home here as in Delhi. [This is not to say that Bangalore does not have hot chics. It's just that I haven't found a lot of them. YET.]

THE RABBIT, THE FOX, AND THE WOLF

Chapter One

One sunny day, a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, and a fox sneaked up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch!" said the fox.

"Wait!" replied the rabbit. "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?" sneered the fox.

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis," the rabbit said

"Hah! That's a stupid excuse. What is the title of your thesis anyway?"

"I am writing a thesis on `The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now!" the fox snarled. "Everybody knows that a fox will always win a fight with a rabbit."

"Not really, according to my research," said the rabbit. "If you'd like, you can come to my hole and read it for yourself. If you're not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You really are crazy!" replied the fox. But the fox was pretty curious, and figured he had nothing to lose, so he went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came back out.

Chapter Two

A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing. Sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes, caught the rabbit, and was getting ready to eat her.

"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "you cannot eat me right now."

"And why might that be, you fuzzy appetizer?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis on "The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

The wolf laughed so hard it almost lost its hold on the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you-- you really are sick in the head and you might have something contagious!" the wolf opined.

"Come read for yourself. You can eat me after that if you disagree with my conclusions."

So the wolf went into the rabbit's hole... and like the fox, he never came back out.

Chapter Three

A few weeks later, the rabbit finished writing her thesis and was out celebrating in the lettuce fields. Another rabbit came by and asked, "What's up? You seem to be very happy."

"Yup, I just finished writing my dissertation."

"Congratulations! What is it about?"

"It is entitled `The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."

"Oh, yes, you should come over and read for yourself."

So they went off together to the rabbit's hole.

As they entered, the friend saw what looked like a typical graduate student abode-- albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial dissertation was in one corner of the room. On the right there was a pile of fox bones, on the left was a pile of wolf bones, and in the middle was a lion.

And the moral of the story is:

Who you are doesn't matter. What the title of your dissertation is doesn't matter.

All that matters is who your thesis advisor is.

A small Push

At the bookstore, the boy bumps with the girl.

Girl indignantly says, “Hey watch out.”
Boy apologizes, “I am sorry, I missed a step.”
Irritated, the girl replies, “That sounds like an explanation to your Physics teacher while doing an experiment that went haywire.”
Innocently the boy agrees, “That may be true – I never had an appetite for Physics. Literature was my forte.”
The girl’s interest is piqued, “Literature? You seem to be the true geek type.”
Boy, “Well I am a geek who is into literature, but how can you be so sure that I am a geek.”
For the first time the girl smiles the smile that says isn’t-that-obvious, “A stubble looks sexy only on Abhishek Bachchan, tousled hair looks good on Tom Cruise, and spectacles look cool on Hrithik Roshan. Combine all three where the stubble is approaching beard, tousled is approaching disheveled, and spectacles are more like the ones worn by Babu Rao in Hera-Pheri, the result – a geek to the heart. And with a cookbook in your hand I can also proclaim that you seem to be a bachelor.”
The boy gets out another innocuous reply, “You do seem to know a lot about me.”
Grinning widely the girl replies, “Oh yeah I have been spying on you.”
Finally the boy musters some courage to get out more then a few words, “Well well well. I did not know the paths trodden by a geeky bachelor could be of any importance to a beautiful damsel.”
If real life could have smilys the girl’s face would have shown Instead she says, “Hey did you just compliment me? I thought geeks to be tongue-tied.”
Warming up to the conversation, the boy replies, “Oh yes! Shyness is a trait of our breed which can be overcome only in select company.”
The girl retorts, “Hmmm, you have known me for about 75 seconds and I am in ’select’ company.”
Now the boy smiles, “Well my Physics experiments did go haywire, but I was a Chemistry whiz. Maybe the chemistry is working its charm today.”
Girl asks, “Are you sure about the charm? “
Boy answers, “Ohh! I am sure. I have broken my record of talking to a beautiful girl by at least 75 seconds. Till now the record was of 2 seconds that were used in saying, ‘Excuse me’.”
The girl concurs; and not, “Well I am still not sure about the charm, but there sure is some chemistry. “
The boy calls up on every ounce of audacity and blurts, “Shall we add some caffeine catalyst and observe the reaction?”
With mock anger the girl replies, “Did you just ask me out?”
The boy misses the ‘mock’, but catches the ‘anger’, “Ummm, maybe. Well… “
The same mock anger lingers, but the corners of the lips are curling upwards, “Where did your verbosity disappear? And did you really ask me out?”
The boy stammers, “Uhhh, I just realized that I asked a girl out for the first time in my life and without the original context it could have been easily misinterpreted as a chemistry experiment statement.”
A smiling face says, “Once a geek, always a geek.”
Hopefully the boy says, “I hope you change me.”
Quashing the hope the girl replies, “Hey I did not even say yes to your offer of coffee. How can you be sure that I’d change you?”
Confusion is written all across the boys face as he stammers again, “Uh-huh… So… is that a no?”
The girl laughs loudly; “No, where is the coffee?” takes her hand and leads her out of the bookstore.

*

An instant message pops up – “Satan: Hey I saw you nudge him“
The reply reads – “God: Satan, aren’t marriages made in heaven? I just gave him a small push; rest was what they did